Sunday, February 19, 2012

people I met

I met a couple of people on the bus who were awesome... kind, and very friendly.

I met a man who was very adamant about religion being personal and would have very much liked to be his friend... it would be nice to not have that matter.

I got lost many times and somehow found my way, met those who pointed me in directions when I was lost and even a bus driver who let me know when we were where I needed to be.

I met this other bus driver who was kind and bright, a bit rueful too. blunt but not mean.

I met plenty of people... they were nice.

I am pointing out kindness because I was told to. to me... the actions themselves are more valuable than the words. recognition is nice but... if you are not careful, people do them just to be recognized... not because their hearts are in it.

I also met someone who kept saying "I love you, you are a good woman" and tried offering me money and the like... he seemed senile and I thought talking to him was harmless but... he was just... well how would you take it if someone followed from one bus stop to another and almost followed you to where you were going and you had to reassure them you were coming back to THAT bus stop so they wouldn't keep following you?
perhaps being raped has made me paranoid... but that sounds like something that would raise alarms for any woman.

I also met this very weird couple who couldn't keep their own religious talk straight. at first he had said that if a christian resorts to murder, they are not christian. however he maintained a belief about those of MY religion that even those who go against the core laws can still be of such. he held this double standard but later said one who killed could still be christian. he even went so far as to tell the woman "don't listen to her, they have to lie to you. they can't tell you the truth" his thoughts were dangerous and much like those who killed my father. he detached humanity from those who believed differently, even in his speech. the woman once again... just pregnant. she was fine... a bit insecure, but that can be said as only her pregnancy hormones.

first off, HE was nuts and she was whiny... she was also pregnant, their is an excuse for her hormonal insecurities. His cracked sanity was another story. his logic was flawed and he was disengaged from reality as a whole, yet everything about it was religiously based. they asked because my walking stick has a pentacle on it. I answered and the response was very hostile in nature, though hers was much less... volatile, more avoidance caused by religious teachings.
first off, I made sure not to tell them that I did practice and never disputed that I did practice. they pray don't they? stupid thing to assume. I simply stick to healing, and protection. I don't touch much at all... I just didn't want to deal with his obvious hostility. The fact is... avoiding his harm to me and the stress it would cause the woman was my top priority. besides, I have to ask permission for even a blessing, or place a clause where it can be refused if unwanted. this guy was just nuts and in my bodies weakened state, this was indeed lesser harm. this guy was... dangerous.
he told her I had to lie... nope. I don't have to tell them but made sure to say that if asked directly I would say "I can't tell you that" rather than lie. He was nuts. she was just grossly misinformed. He couldn't even keep his facts straight on his own religion.
I neither blessed them nor cursed them but he was of the mindset that his own belief's were right no-matter how many times they changed with the seconds... if I had told him of the fact I practiced he would have undoubtedly became violent. I grew up around people like him... he was the easiest person I read the body language of all day. I saw nothing towards his family that would give me pause... though I found his exasperation over her hormonal state to be humorous. other than being a complete dickhead about religion... this family seemed pretty normal to me. people like him are only dangerous to those who do not share their beliefs so explaining more than I did was a moot point as the woman held too much kindness and his way seemed he might have hurt even her if she swayed even a little. I do not know... though with the way he handled her I doubt it, I have simply seen it play out before. experience makes me doubt what my eyes have seen would stay the same. my heart tells me that if he loved her... it wouldn't matter.

her heart seemed good, she was spoiled but most are. she was a good woman. I hope her man keeps his opinions from causing harm. those who follow other paths are human too and thus should be left be regardless. if he truly believes such, he should be content with "where" he believes they will go "in the end" and leave that be as his own religion thus dictates.

the other one I met shortly after was sane... but annoyingly persistent. he seemed eager to get away from my presence and even almost got off the bus early, over religion. he brought it up mind you. several times I about was at my wits end and finally I said "your religion killed my father" to shut him up, I do not often experience this thing of saying things I do not mean... but that was one. His religion did not kill my father... those who follow it did.

I have already seen the place I will go when I die. I believe miracles happen regardless of race and religion. to me... such things do not exist. those barriers are placed by humans alone.

If the place I saw is "hell", then I will gladly go their because hell was so beautiful and had everything I have loved but who lives and breaths still. my parents, my twin sister... even pets who died. they can believe whatever they want. if that is hell, I will take it gladly when my time comes.

here is my take on it, and this is what i should have told him. If he believes their is only one god, and I have lived through things I should have died from... obviously someone wants me alive... right? if he believes it is only his god up their then perhaps he should reassess something. My faith in my path is resolute. I will not be converted. His energy was wasted at best and acting like he was afraid... this battle between religions sickens me. the man I would have loved to befriend and me share the same view though I still choose my path... I could definitely deal with it... your religion is between you and your chosen deity. without even realizing it, this man had faith in his math based world... as long as he believes something. I wouldn't change it if he didn't but... the point being, even if you believe religion is bad at least you believe something.

to me... as long as nobody is hurt, as long as your not hurting anybody... as long as you believe something(even not religion)... I don't care what you believe. just don't make it a problem for me or mine. your beliefs are between you and the one you believe in, or yourself and you if their is no religion involved.

if nobody forced these things on others... it wouldn't matter what anybody believed.

that last one... made me a bit sad. I knew without a doubt he would not help me if I needed it. I knew without a doubt he wanted to be anywhere but their. to me... a persons worth is set by their actions, how they treat others... to me that he saw my worth only as someone he wanted to convert to his religion... that made me sad. If he was sound in his own path... my faith in my own convictions would not have made him shake. He would not have nearly left the bus early, his voice would have held less weakness to it, and his body language would have held more... he would have been more... I suppose I don't really have a word for it. to only half believe something... if he truly believed his faith would protect him, he would not have been as such. I wouldn't exercise power of any kind like he seemed to believe anyway... and he didn't even know anything about my path!

I was raised to believe that religion was supposed to protect you from the physical and the spiritual... not by my parents... but by church and such. it was taught that everything bad was a trial. to be blunt... no parent can put their children through what people go through so in short, I reserve the right to believe they believe in an asshole. they are however, entitled to believe in an asshole. I imagine little cosmic female anime chibi's of the goddess on her period.... personally I don't think anyone should mind. we were given senses of humor and independent thought... using them to hold opinions and such is normal. as long as we do not force them on anyone. keep in mind... these are MY my beliefs. perhaps... I simply believe that we were given a mind, and heart because ignoring either one causes our being to feel incomplete.

I think... if your heart pulls you in a path... as long as it doesn't hurt anyone(including yourself)... it is OK.

Of my path, my beliefs is sound... my confusion and lack of faith is in humanity... not my mother goddess and father god(a common way to address the god and goddess thought typically a refrain out of fear of those who will ask"so do you think your parents are deity's?" happened before... the answer is no BTW, it is simply believed they are the mother and father of all), it is more complicated than that at many points but... basically, I don't feel like explaining my religion in detail. if asked... I will do so. if not... oh well. I share what I feel is necessary to explain. I live dealing with those like that couple... like that man who shied merely when he heard my faith. personally... people like that make me feel pity. I feel sorry for them. I hope one day that man has the faith, I hope one day that other man realizes the world doesn't bend to what he thinks about anything, and I hope that woman stays good in her heart.

someday I hope everyone realizes... people are people. no matter what a person believes, no matter what color, no matter what part of the world.

we all can bleed. we all have souls. we all live. we all will eventually die.

what creator would put someone on this place only to be doomed to an eternity in suffering just for not sinign praises?

in my opinion Sodom and Gomorrah is proof enough. the world is much worse than those described... it can be argues philosophically that one who would destroy two cities over such but leave this world alone... especially after being described as a "father" who would turn his back on his "son" in his greatest time of need(regardless of reason) due to this sin... would simply see this world as too degenerated and unworthy to destroy and thus, gave up on it.

makes me really glad I am not christian... because by reading the bible and looking around... if I followed that path, that is exactly the conclusion I would come to.

by many religions humans are charged to protect and keep the earth safe, to keep the balance... by the world now, this is a failed endeavor. I hope this changes. all this talk about other "worlds" is proof enough for me... if they thought this planet was able to be saved and had any intention of doing such... they wouldn't be looking elsewhere so vigorously.

why dont we, as humans, simply be happy with the planet we have, and live letting each-other be. in all honesty... if we stopped using oil, my country stopped being  a bully(and inevitably creating more dangerous bullies by doing such), and if everyone did their part... the planet could heal.

humanity will not be gifted another chance. I grew up with the lore to know that. my mother and father knew many stories... I wish I could have known them longer... heard more of them... their is more than one story where this is not humanities first chance.

the choice to believe the lore is left up to the one hearing it. I will be blunt, their are rules on to who it can be passed and how... even how it can be recorded.

truth is truth.

people are people.

lies are lies

right it right

wrong is wrong

these things would be a helluva lot easierif people could just leave one another alone and "live and let live" instead of feeling the need to project their idea of these things on others lives.


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