Thursday, March 1, 2012

repair nightmare

I was bathing(please note I look a mess and had to put dirty cloths back on), no music, not even water running(this was a BATH-anti stress for the fact doc appointments are not stress free for me).

the "refrigerator repair" man did not knock and in fact opened the door and asked "hello?"

My heart about flew up into my throat. When I asked him(after jumping out of the bath like a bat outta hell-I am still shaking BTW) "do you always do that?" he got pissed off and changed the "number" he claimed he knocked about 5 times... his last one was thirty, his first one was "twice" and his second one was 10, 4th was 5.... you get the idea.

so while I was typing this the manager showed up(I just call them both managers, man and wife).

Because I asked that question and refuse to go with his claim that he knocked... he refuses to fix my refrigerator. the manager's husband is the one who came with him. so the repair man tattled on ME for not going with that ridiculous story after HE barged in without knocking.

I do not share this logic and am in fact a bit confused about this. Why is it OK for him to do that, lie about it, and then refuse to fix my refrigerator over me asking about why he did it? I don't want to fight about it, I don't want to dispute it, I just wanted to know why... because I sure as hell know they are NOT supposed to do that.

that so defeated the point of all that work I did to get my nerves able to handle that place.

so yeah, looks like my freezer will continue to make this loud noise(it means it is being overworked BTW- I can't fix it, basically it is old... the motor will probably blow one of these days-well that's all I can think of anyway, could also just need service, either way obviously that isn't happening-refrigerator repair is not my thing... never learned and well... I can only guess form the experience of growing up and what it usually meant-I am not an expert and could be very wrong).

OMFG! I was hoping to do something with my day besides shake like a leaf!

If he ever reads this I have one thing to say. "Congratulations ass hole. You, a male, walked in without knocking, into the apartment of a woman who has Anxiety and PTSD." I will be jumpy for awhile.

let me highlight something. when I was sixteen years old(right after my birthday... it happened on the 22nd of march a little over a week after-I just say "I got raped for my birthday, it was years before I was able to handle having long hair again-hair obsessed perv) a man came in the back door and raped me. while the details were not actually given to the police in full(he was right, I was protecting someone-it wasn't the officers fault when it didn't get solved-I still don't know who they are though to this day, I was protecting she who set me up-she got paid for that-and BTW... yes, the person had been stalking me first-my grandmother told me to ignore it).

Lets not forget... the anniversary of that is coming up soon and I was trying NOT to focus on it.  Generally if something is going to happen and go wrong it happens in march. I hope this year is different. Lets have a GOOD month I was born in... for once.

ever since then when a door opens I have to remind myself where I am... while it has gotten easier... this will make me jumpy for awhile. *sigh* as if I needed that on top of everything else.

what a dick. After all that he wouldn't fix my refrigerator because I called him on it. I couldn't have NOT called him on it if I tried, anxiety... I don't think before i talk I just say it. it stops me from going into a panic thingy. while it was true, I generally consider what should and should not be said. it was easy to tell what "type" he was. even "I was told you wouldn't be here" would have been semi acceptable as I would have simply told him "well knock next time and make sure"... this will not work if it happens again because I know someone could read it and know it would... so just for the record, repair people should knock.

also, I had only been in the tub for about 5 minutes. I had just got in. I was in my living room before that. their was nobody their. lets recap, what  douche bag!

OK... I don't usually revert to flat out insulting people but... what else am I supposed to say at this point?

I am mad. I am still shaking. I am insulted and mortified. I wasn't even told when to expect someone to repair anything. they never tell me. they never tell me when someone will be on the roof, or anything of the kind.

If I had known I wouldn't have even been in the tub around then to begin with.

Great. Months of trying to get stuff fixed and it all goes out the window over this. You bet you ass I am frustrated!

Now excuse me while I go finish getting ready and take rush around my apartment looking for things to clean(cleaning is my "zen"-calms me, only ever tested it at home though-I just feel more comfortable with it).


Had to add this, doesn't happen every day-that is for sure.

On my way to my appointment I nearly got run over while crossing(it had the "walk" signal up) the street. the guy wanted to turn and he apparently didn't realize I had intentions to cross.

On the way BACK I kept on having to pull my pants up and my shirt down(I got honked at-I think it was at me anyway, I hope it wasn't because my shirt rode up..)... my cloths don't fit right anymore. I lost weight. I fibbed in a way. I told the lady what my weight was at one point... never told her it had gone higher than that. I gained a LOT of weight with my first pregnancy. I excersized and was scolded by my husband(though we were not married at the time) back then about how I wasn't eating ENOUGH(the doctors assumed...)! I am not one to eat a ton. while I was pregnant.. well I never figured out why I gained so much so quick. by the end I could barely walk to the bathroom because of it. I got pregnant directly after and had no time to lose the weight. because I was a bit over before that(was still straightening my body out after weight damage was done by medication)... the doctor just kinda assumed and you know... it is REALLY annoying to explain that you are not only getting excersize but are actually ACTIVE but still gaining insane amounts of weight. I had good eating habits(except this Cheetos craving I had... but I was taking my vitamins, getting excersize, and otherwise eating healthy, even would limit myself the Cheetos... I mean they were poofy airy and I have no idea why I craved them!!!).

explanations aside... my oldest is now 2 and my youngest 1, both c-sections(I was going to try a v-back... that didn't work out so well, first was emergency c-section)... I was stunned today. I knew I had lost weight but... wow. rounding my top weight down and doing the math.... 47 pounds. I have not been dieting or doing anything special.  I just eat and excersize normally... like I always have. hell... in high school I enjoyed sneaking off to the gym after school(I was also proud of my crunches... never did find out how long I could go... but it was the entirety of pe class that I did them at one point... I won that one!!!)... while I was waiting for all those insanely long periods of time to be picked up after I did an after school activity... leg press was one of my favorites. my upper body has never been very good... my legs were pretty good... not my arms, never those... omg... and never ask me to bench press. that doesn't end well. I don't go to the gym now... but I do enjoy excersize. I about cried when I couldn't do it while pregnant. again, could barely walk at all. tried telling my doctor of the time... I gave up after the first couple times. he was pretty good for the most part. the fat assumption's kinda run deep in society.  I do not "schedule" excersize for myself... I just do it. to schedule means to pressure myself into it. If a person looks at it as an obligation and not some fun activity... it ends up being work instead of play(and for me that isn't good when it comes to this stuff-especially since I hate pain and the "burn" is pain-I do like how I sleep after though... sometimes if I get tired enough I don't dream-no dreaming means no nightmares).

I take care of myself and my body... so the weight loss has me wide eyed. doesn't seem like I have lost too much too fast.... especially since it was tough getting my body back up to speed after all that time of not being able(my muscles were not up to it so with my second I wasn't very active-so I lost massive amounts of ability to do much). I have been doing the same excersizes I learned strengthened muscles years ago after my surgery on my hip. I had to re learn how to walk after that one. wasn't fun. I spent awhile in a wheel chair... was anything but helpless... well minus the bully I had who kept grabbing the back and running me over peoples toes... BTW... why was logic to get mad at ME?!! I put on the breaks but they were not made to stop her apparently!

uh... so... back to the original thing... I almost got run over by a car today.

Today is the first day of march.

For years this month has not been my best. anyone see the possible foreshadowing from that?

I hope it isn't...  I want it to go better... I dont' like how things go in march for me... my birthday is in march, is it really so bad that I don't like how most everything bad happens in march? if everything is already to shit... I do NOT want it to get worse... I hope it goes differently this month... but if that incident was anything to go by...


No comments:

Post a Comment