Just got back form my appointment. Still queezy but haven't puked in awhile(that may change as I kinda have to eat sometime), hopefully it is one of those bugs that doesn't last long.
My grandfather told me about a church that doesn't care what your religion is. the do meditation and that sort of stuff. They apparently believe as he put it that "god is within you". They have many religions that go their and the fact that I am wiccan will apparently not be a problem.
I plan on testing that. I find it easier to know who has a problem with it to begin with rather than wait till later.
I even told him "you know, my pentacle will be out in the open just to test that right?" "yep" "I will boldly display it" "yep" I am used to people having a problem with it. It will be good to build supports and such in the community. To be honest, I favor the idea of going to the same one he does.
He called it "unity church". My religion is a barrier with some people and it will be nice if this place is everything he says it will be. I personally don't care what someone believes as long as they believe in something.
Even an atheist strongly believes in being an atheist... though my grandfather used to say "their are no atheist's in a foxhole" -in war a foxhole is that trench thing they are in to lessen the likelihood of getting hit by grenades and whatnot. Basically, the saying means they are all praying to somebody that the trench stays untouched and they stay alive. I don't know if that has any real truth to it, I would have to ask an atheist veteran... though I don't think I will. That is one thing I prefer to just keep as a childhood memory that makes me smile. Besides... while I am sure atheist veterans of war exist... I have never met one. To me, I have always believed in creation and it having to have been created somehow, therein the divine.
That comes naturally to me. I simply believe that if they are happy that way... who am I to disrupt them in their beliefs?
For once I am not double blogging today out of fear or anxiousness... but because the idea in of itself of a place where acceptance it had... makes me excited to go check it out. Their are places that say that but are not actually like that. I hope this place is. I may be terrified in my current situation but... if I do not find some reason to smile, I fear I will lose myself and be no good to anyone.
-------------------------------------
on another note...
Today I was also asked question. let me just clear this up.
My children put everything in their mouths and keeping them away from water of any kind while awake... is damn near impossible(especially for rowan). My children do not know better, quite the opposite, so I have to constantly keep an eye out for things. I have said that before many times, just pointing that out now.
My anxiety is an issue... to a degree. Typically it is cope-able but currently the situation I am in magnifies it, for lack of a better term. I do not have access to the coping type mechanisms I would need to do what I have been asked to do. To sit in a room full of abusers(and possibly those like me sent their to learn how to break the cycle).
Sometimes conversation is easier than writing for me. Some are easier to write, some just are so overwhelming after so much that I have to step away and take a break or... strike up a conversation. generally it has more to do with the intensity of the subject and the thoughts it evokes.
Apparently I am logical enough to be asked if I am good at math. No, worst subject. While I AM logical... nobody ever bothered to sit down and break apart the formulas after my mom. By the time anyone realized how far behind I was, they deemed me a worthless cause and to be honest... a group of us was helped with our AIMS. We were the students deemed to be so behind we would never pass on our own.
I was part of a group of kids that was taken to basically cheat on the AIMS test. My writing I passed, my reading I passed(though I was asked to consider it as their was a strong possibility by their standards that I wouldn't pass) all on my own. Math, I never passed a third grade level. I know addition, subtraction, basic multiplication(though I can't do it in my head), and very VERY basic division. I have an understanding of decimals to some degree... and can execute them on a calculator. If you ask me to do math in my head, I have trouble with it... unless it is memorized ahead of time, it won't be possible at all, I am ashamed to say.
I was put in special education. I was bullied because of it. I was not put in special education because I was a horrible student(though many assumed I just didn't want to learn). You would be surprised how many of those end up in that "resource room"-I was put their because I needed things a little differently than the teachers unrealistic expectations. After my mom died, my teacher-who hated her-specifically made assignments for parents to do with their children....... since I had none and she always refused to explain... I got left behind and never caught up. in the resource room you often get pushed aside for the behaviorally challenged kids who are just their because they "act out" in class. Incidentally, at a time directly after going through traumatic loss I was denied the basic fundamental knowledge needed to figure out future problems in math. For me... this means I will have to start over. That was a critical time... for this reason I also have trouble with cursive. I got much back all on my own-I had the fundamental basic knowledge to do so.
So-to those teachers who hate their students, their job, or just don't wanna do what it takes... when you thoughtlessly or spitefully(she didn't get along with my mom and never liked me to begin with-never knew why) push a student aside when your job is to help them learn the tools they need(no matter how hard it may be at times)... you fail at your job. Every student you deny help or send off to someone else just because you do not wish to deal with them... it is still your job to make sure they learn what they need to be learning by finding a way to work directly with said child.
When you become a teacher you know you will be spending long hours grading papers and the best ones help students off school hours(honestly-I think teachers should get paid for the time helping and the sleepless nights spent grading papers-but that is just me I suppose). Every teacher who doesn't do this fails every student that gets left behind.
A teachers job is to teach children. To be honest, longer recess would probably help. The problem isn't teachers OR students on the front of behavior(well this big part anyway). You take oodles of children and place them in a desk expecting them to sit still for unreasonable lengths of time with extremely short "breaks" and see how YOU like it?! Even high schoolers have issues at times. In elementary school they tell you to "get active" and then they cut recess and complain the kids are obese and have behavior problems.
A child, full of energy made to sit still... put in a desk and made to "focus" on something like that in a boring and uninteresting environment(the kids find it boring-the adults don't matter--- so why not let the kids decorate a classroom every year, that way they each have something interesting to stare at)... bored kids with too much energy that has no place to go... is it me or is common sense lost on the school system?
With all due respect, teachers can do nothing about a parent who is not involved and refuses to be involved. They CAN help the kids learn. The school system should stop screwing with recess. While it may seem a pointless concept-recess helps children learn vital social skills as well as vent out the energy their bodies create. Longer recess would help concentration in class, and have healthier children in body as well. At least the child who falls asleep in class isn't the child who erupts due to inability to handle all the excess energy in class. so you wake them up and the class laughs and maybe sooner or later they will get it. Would you rather that, or 20-40 over energized kids with nowhere to put said energy.
Just saying. As a parent I notice my children sleep better and sit STILL more when let run around like little... well children. When you turn school into something that is only tailored to adults wishes... you do not ask for good things form the "universe"... karma, whatever you believe in but it will bite you in the proverbial rectal area and give you cranial discomfort! so you have to calm down the kids after recess... have a time for them to sit quietly or play "heads up 7-up"(this gives the kids who need to rest a few an excuse to lay down their heads and the ones who still have energy in them a way to exert it properly but in a manner that isn't all out like the play-ground). You will always have that one kid that makes you want to pull out your hair-take comfort, your "revenge" is being the teacher who pushes them to be their best... they will thank you later. Think of it as an investment of karma... it may take awhile but... you will get that good karma back.
The results would not be immediate and it would take adjusting... but school is just as hard(if not harder) for the students as well, not just the teachers. The happy middle ground needs to be found because when you have 20-40 + kids who are too energized to sit still and don't want to do so... you now have a class of uncooperative students who are NOT ready to learn to their fullest potential. You can change the food all you want but let's face it; Even with sugar, proper recess and an engaging class that gets them involved(while exhausting to maintain) is what will keep the kids loving their teacher and having fun and if your lucky... they may not even realize they are learning something. Kids need times to let loose and so do adults so... when things get too much, their IS a little thing called "Fun Friday"... if they like you the students generally listen to you more. If one student bows it, don't cancel the entire classes fun day, make it for the students who behave. it may seem cruel but... when they see how much fun is being had... they will realize you mean business.
All punishing he entire class does is create a vicious cycle. that one student... their only option to being liked by their class is to make the class hate you.
A further thing to consider, not all classrooms benefit from the same methods. At intervals during the year, one should make sure the students are in agreance with it, and leave it diplomatic-like voting.
Now my last thing to say(for now-lol), the school board should hire competent teachers who can and will do their jobs and encourage their students. Like any other job, those who can't do it need to go. These children will one day grow up to be adults. THINK about the habits and lessons you teach! The school board should be their to regulate not be "overlords". If you don't give kids the freedom to be kids and teachers the freedom to teach... what you get is a system that will breed adults who have mental health issues. Anyone notice the "rise" in it or is it just me?
laters
-Luna
PS: I would love to know how appointments are being made and scheduled with ___ ______ ___ without me being notified I HAVE an appointment in the first place! I am rather ticked off about that. Ironically she who scheduled it never called me back about that... ironic since you kinda have to tell someone about that stuff. one can't show up if they are not notified. curious indeed(sarcasm). I just found out(NOT happy). Well, now I know when the next one is. I was also told something very important was different than what I wrote down as far as date is concerned. lets hope that is true. they are suspiciously eager to have this at the exact time I had the other thing written down for... before that it was a doctors appointment they wished me to move... funny how that works... isn't it(more sarcasm)?
PSx2- how do you "leave a message about it" for someone who has no way for you to leave messages? with all due respect... my answering machine bit the bucket months ago. They know I am usually back by a curtain time. I have made sure they knew over and over again. You know what is "REALLY funny"(sarcasm again)? My "memory" is in question but they can't even remember that very simple concept... unless of course they just "think" they left a message(a jab at the things said). they have my phone number. it hasn't changed. "may have just called the wrong number" yet it is forgotten that I am not that stupid. If they had the wrong number... how am I being contacted on the right one? oh the excuses are irksome... if only I could do something about it. I want to do something about it.
My grandfather told me about a church that doesn't care what your religion is. the do meditation and that sort of stuff. They apparently believe as he put it that "god is within you". They have many religions that go their and the fact that I am wiccan will apparently not be a problem.
I plan on testing that. I find it easier to know who has a problem with it to begin with rather than wait till later.
I even told him "you know, my pentacle will be out in the open just to test that right?" "yep" "I will boldly display it" "yep" I am used to people having a problem with it. It will be good to build supports and such in the community. To be honest, I favor the idea of going to the same one he does.
He called it "unity church". My religion is a barrier with some people and it will be nice if this place is everything he says it will be. I personally don't care what someone believes as long as they believe in something.
Even an atheist strongly believes in being an atheist... though my grandfather used to say "their are no atheist's in a foxhole" -in war a foxhole is that trench thing they are in to lessen the likelihood of getting hit by grenades and whatnot. Basically, the saying means they are all praying to somebody that the trench stays untouched and they stay alive. I don't know if that has any real truth to it, I would have to ask an atheist veteran... though I don't think I will. That is one thing I prefer to just keep as a childhood memory that makes me smile. Besides... while I am sure atheist veterans of war exist... I have never met one. To me, I have always believed in creation and it having to have been created somehow, therein the divine.
That comes naturally to me. I simply believe that if they are happy that way... who am I to disrupt them in their beliefs?
For once I am not double blogging today out of fear or anxiousness... but because the idea in of itself of a place where acceptance it had... makes me excited to go check it out. Their are places that say that but are not actually like that. I hope this place is. I may be terrified in my current situation but... if I do not find some reason to smile, I fear I will lose myself and be no good to anyone.
-------------------------------------
on another note...
Today I was also asked question. let me just clear this up.
My children put everything in their mouths and keeping them away from water of any kind while awake... is damn near impossible(especially for rowan). My children do not know better, quite the opposite, so I have to constantly keep an eye out for things. I have said that before many times, just pointing that out now.
My anxiety is an issue... to a degree. Typically it is cope-able but currently the situation I am in magnifies it, for lack of a better term. I do not have access to the coping type mechanisms I would need to do what I have been asked to do. To sit in a room full of abusers(and possibly those like me sent their to learn how to break the cycle).
Sometimes conversation is easier than writing for me. Some are easier to write, some just are so overwhelming after so much that I have to step away and take a break or... strike up a conversation. generally it has more to do with the intensity of the subject and the thoughts it evokes.
Apparently I am logical enough to be asked if I am good at math. No, worst subject. While I AM logical... nobody ever bothered to sit down and break apart the formulas after my mom. By the time anyone realized how far behind I was, they deemed me a worthless cause and to be honest... a group of us was helped with our AIMS. We were the students deemed to be so behind we would never pass on our own.
I was part of a group of kids that was taken to basically cheat on the AIMS test. My writing I passed, my reading I passed(though I was asked to consider it as their was a strong possibility by their standards that I wouldn't pass) all on my own. Math, I never passed a third grade level. I know addition, subtraction, basic multiplication(though I can't do it in my head), and very VERY basic division. I have an understanding of decimals to some degree... and can execute them on a calculator. If you ask me to do math in my head, I have trouble with it... unless it is memorized ahead of time, it won't be possible at all, I am ashamed to say.
I was put in special education. I was bullied because of it. I was not put in special education because I was a horrible student(though many assumed I just didn't want to learn). You would be surprised how many of those end up in that "resource room"-I was put their because I needed things a little differently than the teachers unrealistic expectations. After my mom died, my teacher-who hated her-specifically made assignments for parents to do with their children....... since I had none and she always refused to explain... I got left behind and never caught up. in the resource room you often get pushed aside for the behaviorally challenged kids who are just their because they "act out" in class. Incidentally, at a time directly after going through traumatic loss I was denied the basic fundamental knowledge needed to figure out future problems in math. For me... this means I will have to start over. That was a critical time... for this reason I also have trouble with cursive. I got much back all on my own-I had the fundamental basic knowledge to do so.
So-to those teachers who hate their students, their job, or just don't wanna do what it takes... when you thoughtlessly or spitefully(she didn't get along with my mom and never liked me to begin with-never knew why) push a student aside when your job is to help them learn the tools they need(no matter how hard it may be at times)... you fail at your job. Every student you deny help or send off to someone else just because you do not wish to deal with them... it is still your job to make sure they learn what they need to be learning by finding a way to work directly with said child.
When you become a teacher you know you will be spending long hours grading papers and the best ones help students off school hours(honestly-I think teachers should get paid for the time helping and the sleepless nights spent grading papers-but that is just me I suppose). Every teacher who doesn't do this fails every student that gets left behind.
A teachers job is to teach children. To be honest, longer recess would probably help. The problem isn't teachers OR students on the front of behavior(well this big part anyway). You take oodles of children and place them in a desk expecting them to sit still for unreasonable lengths of time with extremely short "breaks" and see how YOU like it?! Even high schoolers have issues at times. In elementary school they tell you to "get active" and then they cut recess and complain the kids are obese and have behavior problems.
A child, full of energy made to sit still... put in a desk and made to "focus" on something like that in a boring and uninteresting environment(the kids find it boring-the adults don't matter--- so why not let the kids decorate a classroom every year, that way they each have something interesting to stare at)... bored kids with too much energy that has no place to go... is it me or is common sense lost on the school system?
With all due respect, teachers can do nothing about a parent who is not involved and refuses to be involved. They CAN help the kids learn. The school system should stop screwing with recess. While it may seem a pointless concept-recess helps children learn vital social skills as well as vent out the energy their bodies create. Longer recess would help concentration in class, and have healthier children in body as well. At least the child who falls asleep in class isn't the child who erupts due to inability to handle all the excess energy in class. so you wake them up and the class laughs and maybe sooner or later they will get it. Would you rather that, or 20-40 over energized kids with nowhere to put said energy.
Just saying. As a parent I notice my children sleep better and sit STILL more when let run around like little... well children. When you turn school into something that is only tailored to adults wishes... you do not ask for good things form the "universe"... karma, whatever you believe in but it will bite you in the proverbial rectal area and give you cranial discomfort! so you have to calm down the kids after recess... have a time for them to sit quietly or play "heads up 7-up"(this gives the kids who need to rest a few an excuse to lay down their heads and the ones who still have energy in them a way to exert it properly but in a manner that isn't all out like the play-ground). You will always have that one kid that makes you want to pull out your hair-take comfort, your "revenge" is being the teacher who pushes them to be their best... they will thank you later. Think of it as an investment of karma... it may take awhile but... you will get that good karma back.
The results would not be immediate and it would take adjusting... but school is just as hard(if not harder) for the students as well, not just the teachers. The happy middle ground needs to be found because when you have 20-40 + kids who are too energized to sit still and don't want to do so... you now have a class of uncooperative students who are NOT ready to learn to their fullest potential. You can change the food all you want but let's face it; Even with sugar, proper recess and an engaging class that gets them involved(while exhausting to maintain) is what will keep the kids loving their teacher and having fun and if your lucky... they may not even realize they are learning something. Kids need times to let loose and so do adults so... when things get too much, their IS a little thing called "Fun Friday"... if they like you the students generally listen to you more. If one student bows it, don't cancel the entire classes fun day, make it for the students who behave. it may seem cruel but... when they see how much fun is being had... they will realize you mean business.
All punishing he entire class does is create a vicious cycle. that one student... their only option to being liked by their class is to make the class hate you.
A further thing to consider, not all classrooms benefit from the same methods. At intervals during the year, one should make sure the students are in agreance with it, and leave it diplomatic-like voting.
Now my last thing to say(for now-lol), the school board should hire competent teachers who can and will do their jobs and encourage their students. Like any other job, those who can't do it need to go. These children will one day grow up to be adults. THINK about the habits and lessons you teach! The school board should be their to regulate not be "overlords". If you don't give kids the freedom to be kids and teachers the freedom to teach... what you get is a system that will breed adults who have mental health issues. Anyone notice the "rise" in it or is it just me?
laters
-Luna
PS: I would love to know how appointments are being made and scheduled with ___ ______ ___ without me being notified I HAVE an appointment in the first place! I am rather ticked off about that. Ironically she who scheduled it never called me back about that... ironic since you kinda have to tell someone about that stuff. one can't show up if they are not notified. curious indeed(sarcasm). I just found out(NOT happy). Well, now I know when the next one is. I was also told something very important was different than what I wrote down as far as date is concerned. lets hope that is true. they are suspiciously eager to have this at the exact time I had the other thing written down for... before that it was a doctors appointment they wished me to move... funny how that works... isn't it(more sarcasm)?
PSx2- how do you "leave a message about it" for someone who has no way for you to leave messages? with all due respect... my answering machine bit the bucket months ago. They know I am usually back by a curtain time. I have made sure they knew over and over again. You know what is "REALLY funny"(sarcasm again)? My "memory" is in question but they can't even remember that very simple concept... unless of course they just "think" they left a message(a jab at the things said). they have my phone number. it hasn't changed. "may have just called the wrong number" yet it is forgotten that I am not that stupid. If they had the wrong number... how am I being contacted on the right one? oh the excuses are irksome... if only I could do something about it. I want to do something about it.
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