Sunday, March 11, 2012

The Lie-The truth

Another lie, how "surprising"... hence why I avoided looking it up. I didn't want to face yet another lie from my grandfather.

Since Wikipedia gets things about my own religion wrong(which is easy mind you) I have other sources.

While my grandfather may see this place as "open" he lied about one thing, it is in fact a christian group. It is not a group of people who doesn't care what you believe and get together for a peaceful world... that is not once listed in their beliefs, however they do appear to be peaceful and thus the kind I am very heart-warmed to see. I recommend it to try for those who actually are christian and looking for a christian church. As for me... perhaps one day I will start my own group called "people understanding people are people" or something... I am idealistic in my heart. I hate discrimination and while this place doesn't look such... he lied to me. It is also not as he said either. Perhaps by his perception... but this is the same man who told me to HIDE my religion and pretend I was christian... so a tiny lie could be what his twisted mind thinks will "get her to church". He is too stupid to see that I am happy practicing my own path of religion... I am wiccan. I am at peace with my path, just not with how the misconceptions of others mean I am treated at time. Actually I don't run into many problems in general to be honest, just with those who are in the "mental health system"... ug... feels like they are trying to dissect me and figure me out or something from the inside of my mind out just by asking stupid questions over and over and repeating them as many ways as they can be worded. I hate it.

In the general populace I run into relatively no issues. Of course you have your occasional group of idiots who acts like "where" they believe you are going when you die makes them better than you and you less human... and of COURSE I am afraid of running into those who I have seen commit great crimes against fellow human beings(and got away with it-not like I can prove it, not as it was so long ago-I was a child)... Of course I fear it. You would too if you saw the extent of evil a hateful human heart could bring on another.

Being lied to hurts. To many, it may not seem a bit lie... but he is a liar. He has lied before. the smaller lies always lead to a web of more lies and a tangled web like a trap. While I love my grandfather, I am not stupid.

I wish my family could truly accept my chosen path. I do not believe in Satan. I do not believe in their god(if you read the bible objectively he sounds like a real asshole anyway-lets horrible things be done in his name but throws a temper tantrum and kills people when they do not praise his name-a real ABUSIVE and uncaring jerk is what that sounds like to me-but that is a matter of opinion-my opinion-besides, I have met some pretty awesome Christians-at least I thought they were until it became where they dumped me as a friend over religion-that I was of a different one).

They exist in every religion, it is just easier to run into one from Christianity because it is so ingrained in our culture as people... so common to believe, to be taught to believe(silly people, the heart can only be shown belief by those who truly believe something, not by others who are taught and do not truly believe it-that just breeds more corruption). I have met pagans who would not associate with those not of their own thought group or who attacked others at the slightest attempt to point something out... as I stated, they exist in every thought group and they are seldom who we expect. Sometimes they are evil people and sometimes they are very good people... but prejudice is prejudice and everyone has a shadow in their heart of light as even a heart of shadow has it's light within... yet shadow and light in of themselves are not evil as day and night simply exist as well. Evil can hide in light just as well as it can in shadow, sometimes better. Evil is a concept made by religion... as is good. However... it is human nature to hold both and perhaps... instead of trying to change everyone around you... people should accept them and simply keep close those who are good of action... and only be wary of those who are evil of action. To judge at first glance is folly. Not every good book is good at first glance. A romance novel doesn't always look like a romance novel... only the pages within can truly tell.

Another thing... people are a bit like onions and peoples hearts are a bit like garlic. People have layers... peoples hearts have sections with... layers that are unable to be pealed from each-other only that they symbolize deepness. Shallots are also similar... but the meaning is the same. Now people are not edible like these things... but as you get to the center of an onion, the heart of an onion, the scent gets stronger. Garlic has a strong smell outwardly... and gets stronger as you get deeper into it. no-matter how many times I cut an onion or a big of garlic... none of them are ever completely the same. their is always at least one tiny difference... even in two that seem the same until you investigate further... sometimes it is only one single layer that is different but it is indeed enough to prove my point. They are like people. No, they are not like us in ability to talk or anything like that... but none of them is ever exactly the same... and the smell of garlic is strong. The stronger the smell of garlic, the better quality the cloves in it... that is at least a general thing I was taught. Now the smell could be used as symbolic for the strength of ones heart as how it is displayed from within. Hearts shine from within. The more you delve in the garlic... the stronger that smell becomes. The more you truly look into someones heart, the more you see what is in their heart and the more you tend to care about that heart... to care is to lack of not caring. to care references both hate and love. If you see an ugly heart that is rotten and evil inside-unable to love and can only hate and hurt- you do not love that heart... at least I assume not. If you see a heart that is full of love and kindness... do you not treasure that hearts existence? To treasure is to love it... even if only a little bit.

If you think of the human head... if the onion is like a mind/personality, and the garlic is like the heart... then the trees and plants of the world are like our bodies. The need nutrients to grow and live but they often die long before our hearts and minds ever do. They grow from tiny things... to bigger things... then they slowly wither and die in age or in sickness just like people do.

Their is a part of the wiccan rede "heed ye flower bush and tree and by the lady blessed you'll be"

Of the female aspects I think the speak of lady gaia, or more commonly referenced as "mother earth".

Much like a mother she has layers to her person... multiple things she must attend to... nurtures life in all her areas even her most barren deserts are not completely lifeless. The lady moon is her sister, her guardian of her tides, the lover in her eyes... like a family or close friend who keeps watch over her dreams with her... the sun is much the same... though much like a brother, uncle... some even say husband... while time is both friend and enemy to all... it wears on the lady gaia and both nurtures and heals her and supports her from her suffering... much like a beloved mate would.

Their is harmony in all things just as their is discord. That is how things are.

No matter what religion you are, no matter where you come from, no matter what is within you at any time... it is your actions that decide your path.

Like any mother... the heartbreak of being rejected by your children is much akin to the damage we humans do to her when we care not what we do in our wistful and pollution creating ways... and heartbreak is a most painful and slow way to die. Love can bring life and bring weightlessness to the heaviest of hearts... but the pain of it can also slowly kill you from the inside out.

To live against the earth brings things bad... like cutting down forests created tornado alley... I look at that action and those like it as living against the earth instead of with her. I also believe that the earth has a soul... a spirit if you will... I can only imagine the pain she must feel. At this rate... it is the direct actions of rejection to live in harmony with her that will kill her. when she dies, we will follow. Father time will never allow those who would harm his beloved to find another after destroying her so. Their will be no time even if we do "find" a place without learning our lessons as humans and living in harmony with her... that is what I believe.

If people cannot even take care of what they have... how can we expect our children to know to do so either?

For the record, I am not some pure person either. I too hold both light and shadow in my heart and in that heart resides both hate and love... just like everyone else. It is your actions that decide you... not your religion. It may be a unpopular belief... but it is what I believe. I do not believe their is a lack of forgiveness in creation... merely that it involves actions to be forgiven just as it involved the actions that were in need to be that way to begin with.

I simply see things differently.

please be blessed.

"live and let live,
fairly take and fairly give"-wiccan rede

On another note. I do not believe one can love the moon without loving all she watches over in the night... to love someone means to love everything they love as well... it means you will protect and love what they do even if only because the one you love also loves such. It doesn't mean you must switch religions if your love is of a different one... but to love someone means you love them as is... without changing them.

A man who hurts his children does not love their mother nor his children. A man who harms his wife loves none of those who love or are connected to her, including her children. To harm one in a family is to hurt all of them. For this reason... my family is not family. I have been hurt... though I do not think they feel it. I feel it when they are though... my heart hurts when I find out one of them is hurting... cries out and I wish to cry... sometimes I do cry.

This is also how I know... my husband never loved me or the children. In retrospect however... I often wonder if I truly loved him either. I encouraged him to talk to his father.... never had any ill will against any of them but... do I love his family? It makes me wonder at the meaning of loving something that someone else loves... perhaps their are indeed different degrees of love. Either way however, one should never stay with one who doesn't love you. when you act against the mother or against the child, you act against both. when you act against one member of a family you act against all of them... that is why I believe my family is not a family.    

if my family was a family... wouldn't they be here?


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