Monday, January 16, 2012

update of updates

a lot has happened the past few days. I wasn't able to update due to "technical difficulties", this translates into... I fucked up my computer and wasn't able to do so until I fixed it.

On the 13nth I tried to get somewhere important but got unbearably lost and turned around. I was having trouble and ended up somewhere on dobbins and what the directions said was supposed to be "Bethany"(I feel so stupid now), but was in fact something else. In all honesty, it is late and i am half asleep. when I remember it later(in my fully awake state) I will add it. On those cross-streets is a car wash. I stopped their to use their phone and ask directions. I was rather panicked and frozen with not knowing what to do. their was NO way I was going to make it in time by this point and I had left well early enough(had horrid luck with getting lost and getting off to transfer just as the one I was transferring to was leaving) that I should have been their about 2 hours early(but knowing me I was planning only 1 hour early as... I get lost, easily). Anyway, the guy that works on the machines offered me a ride, and nomrally I wouldn't have accepted, but this was important. I was honestly terrified, I didn't know this man... so in true me fashion I decided to strike up conversation... "so, do you do this often, offer rides to strange girls", with my past I was nervous but he didn't seem like the type... anyway he said "oh no, I just like doing nice things for people." and you know... that is exactly what he did. He found it and got me their. I was happy and relieved.

Now is time to laugh at me. After panicking and doing the "I thought is was the 27th!"(and someone actually asked me earlier that day and I told her the 27nth), it was canceled and put on the 27nth. So after feeling thoroughly bashful and appropriately embarrassed... among other things, I decided to find my way home and figure out a viable way to get back WITHOUT getting lost next time. A nice bus driver was agreeable to letting me know different routes.

He let me off right across the street from the stop I had to transfer to. He was being nice but... I am too chicken to break the law on purpose. yep, if I was a D&D character I would be a "lawful good" character with "neutral tendencies", all this means is that if it isn't hurting anyone I don't really care to be frank. Not my business what you do as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. Obviously if it effects my family I care... nicotine and "spice" both are banned items in my apartment, but outside is allowed, but no... spice isn't even allowed IN my apartment. I run a tight rule for anything like that. no drugs and no "legal" drugs. In any home of mine, that is law. Most may see that as no fun, but I am going to point one nifty factoid out, I am allergic and asthmatic. -_- this rule is both for my children's health in not being raised around that crap and for mine as well. I react to the second hand smoke of cigarets and "joints" so I have to be careful. as for first hand cigarets at least(as the reaction is only standard to something being in the air and not actual allergy for this) I think I smoke like 1 a month... been a couple months actually. And even I must follow my own rule. Under no circumstances is it allowed around my children. My asthma was caused by second hand smoke and as asthma and respiratory problems run in the family(emphysema in particular has killed a great many generations-basically you live long enough in my family it kills you too-as I am at such high risk... I am only allowed one cigaret a week when I do smoke more, I wish to be here for my kids and not dead from some disease so I set rules to minimize the risk, however stress is bad as well and under high stress situations if I have the funds, I allow the once a week, otherwise I prefer to abstain as is my right), anyway, as respiratory problems run in the family, I do not wish to tempt any issus my chidlren may have waiting to spring up so smoke free zone is my place.

Ah.... wait... I was oh yeah. The bus driver let me off across the street(I had sugar and am half asleep, can you tell?) and I was too afraid to let him know I wasn't going to cross, and even wanted to cross just so he wouldn't feel it was a waist, then I saw it. A police training center... no way. so I waited for him to leave and my chicken ass walked around. It wasn't terribly busy on the roads so I probably could have managed but... I was trying to DE chicken myself to breaking the j walking law BEFORE I saw the police center... nu uh, not in a million trillion years could you get me to willingly break the law let alone convince me to so much a j walk across the street from a training center. Now granted chances are I would have continued to be chicken anyway but... in all honesty, I just prefer to follow the law when I know it. I grew up hearing "if you cross the street without holding my hand or looking both ways, and not at a crosswalk the big people in blue uniforms will come take you for a long time out with no coloring books or anything and no mommy to bail you out!" needless to say, although my brother was the one receiving the tongue thrashing and tall tail woven to keep him alive(he tried to run across without us he was like 3 and I was... 5 I think... I heard of the incident from my grandmother before she died) so in all honesty, it was in me from the beginning. breaking the law is not in my list of things I like to do.

I prefer to keep myself as law abiding as possible and panic when I find out I broke any law... yep, I have a phobia of breaking the law. actually the phobia is the consequences of breaking the law... no way in hell you will be putting me in some tiny dull room all alone with no outside time and PINK underwear! nu uh! NOT ME! I understand it may sound childish but... for those of us who grew up able to keep our noses clean and love nature and the freedom to go outside and whatnot... jail is terrifying. I don't have the money for fines so that is terrifying to. in all honesty, I just try to follow any laws I know. If I don't know them... I follow them when I find out they exist. So... it may seem silly to you and my husband often chastised me for it... but... while not getting hit by a car is important, even when the street isn't busy, crossing it where I know it isn't legal to cross, terrifies me even to this day. a childish thing but... I am afraid to break the law and I am afraid of jail. not the worst fears one could have now is it?

anyway, I finally got my computer up a running for the things I do(although I managed to work messenger before and a few sites pulled up, nothing that required passwords or logging in would work... and my fav browser went buh bye so I had to figure out how to get it back... and well... pretty much is that way.

so I have been busying myself this weekend(gave myself recoup and get stuff done time and then on Monday I am headed out again, managers to places tend to be their more on weekdays and less on weekends from what I hear so... yeah-I needed the down time anyway to take care of my health-not that it is bad, just if I don't take care of it it can get not so great so I am taking care of myself). hehehe.... and... just for this blog(can't see it on YOUTUBE, I just gave my lil brother-although well into adulthood-my YouTube user name so I don't want him to know his sister draws stuff like that... nothing too bad but... oh you will see.

it is the "project" I have been working on. I have finally picked a name for it! I am sure I will probably be tempted to change it but... "Gemini hearts" seems a good and catchy name. no this isn't all of it. due to an issue with me personally, it takes me occasionally longer to draw such things because I have to be closer and such wish you could see it better than this, I am seldom proud of my work. and don't you just love the tired daze of "duh" I am in in the video? yep... anyway.

This is Luna saying-bed time now! I only got 4 hours... and yep, my alarm is set. If it doesn't go off today I am going to switch it with the other one. that has been an issue lately and managing to get a job will be pointless if I can't keep the damn thing! so... this alarm clock is getting one more chance. last time was also one more chance... I just... realized it was my fault after. I set it to PM instead of AM. -_-


Many blessings!


PS: sorry, still waiting for my voice to recover more. I just realized I wasn't talking  very loud so you may wish to turn it up, that is as loud as I go for now. after the incident, it is kinda just me waiting for my voice to come back. it isn't the complete lack of sound it used to be and it isn't whispering.... but... well... sorry it isn't louder.

No comments:

Post a Comment